OK, so chronologically this entry is a little out of order, but if the people want gore what can I do?
After a lovely evening imbibing Baijo (incredibly cheap potent and nasty chinese liquor) cocktails, dancing on a roof top and visiting a couple of clubs, me and a couple of the boys I was travelling with thought that it would be a nice plan to go have a 4am swim in the Li river. I remember pushing for this pretty heavily and definitely used the "Its OK I'm a trained lifeguard" line that I tend to whip out whenever I'm tipsy and want to go swimming.
Well it was lovely, I love to swim at night and the Li river is incredibly beautiful with its mountain backdrop. Unluckily for me, some complete penis had thrown a broken bottle at the bottom of the steps. When pulling myself out of the river, I fell back in and a piece of glass sliced into my toe. I very calmly said, "guys, I'm holding my foot together, we need to get to hospital", the baijo worked at preventing the pain and also making the situation pretty hilarious.
(Happy smiling pre-injury Jess)
I will be eternally disappointed that I failed to get pictures of the slasher movie set that our hostel lobby became, there was blood everywhere. The sock used to bind my foot turned grey to red and the blood started to run down my elevated leg.
The wonderful Jenny & Lauren gathered my passport and cash and sorted a motorbike to take me to the nearest hospital. David wonderfully came with me, held my hand and let me prattle on about utter nonsense when I was being stitched up. The hospital was actually brilliant, apart from having to dodge pools of blood on the way in, it was incredibly clean and the doctor was lovely.
David helpfully asked whether i would like to be told what was happening, as being laid down i couldn't see, I agreed but after the statement "he's cutting bits off of your foot" I kinda thought i would just leave it a mystery. I had four injections and seven stitches.
So thats the story of my Frankentoe, I spent the rest of the trip hobbling around and unable to hold my alcohol, I forgot to figure bloodloss and heavy painkillers into my next evenings drinking and went to bed pissed out of my face after a single Bay Breeze and Tequila Slammer.
At the end of the day, the swim was wonderful & I'd probably do it again, I got a great story, to leave about a pint of myself in the Li river like some ritualistic blood sacrifice and a scar that is essentially just a very cheap tattoo.